Overcoming shame

For years, unbeknownst to me, I carried an internal burden. It robbed me of valuable opportunities. I did not know that it was the thing stopping me from being all that I could be. It was a hidden enemy, that was not easily located. What was this covert operation happening inside of me? It was shame!

As a young boy, I was severely bullied and called names about my weight. Being a young chubby kid who also was bullied for having flamboyant mannerisms that I didn’t know I was exhibiting, I was so confused! I would often get called out for behaving in a way that seemed wrong. Although I was the teacher’s pet in a lot of my classes, the students did not like me for answering questions and always being helpful. The good that I thought I was doing was working against me, socially. These attributes were developing as internalized hatred that I would later understand was rooted in shame.

I wasn’t just bullied, I felt humiliated when being called names. The worst comment you can make to a developing young man is the comment that you act like a girl, or even questioning his masculinity. It was a dagger that I could not unpin out of my soul. The words became a blemish that was easily seen and a scar that was visibly opened in my heart.

Before writing my first book, I had an encounter with the Lord Jesus in my sleep. It was as if the light came on in my soul, and I could easily identify the enemies that were robbing me of my destiny. I had the power to identify the root of my issues which was shame. Shame had me so bound I could not talk about my past. I was a prisoner of this wasted emotion. I was bound in chains of shame brought on through humiliation. But Jesus changed everything!

He changed the way I saw myself. The real weight I was carrying had nothing to do with my physical size, it was the years that I let others get the best of me and did nothing to recover from the vicious attacks against my character. I was carrying the baggage of brokenness and the years of inner turmoil that I would not allow myself to let go.

When the Lord revealed himself to me in the dream, he set me free. He commanded the torture of the enemies to stop. He showed me the truth that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. There is nothing wrong with me! I am worthy of love, and I have the power to love others, because I am permitted to love as Christ does. This is how God empowered me to overcome shame!

I am free, and you can be free as well! It takes identifying the root of shame and then asking the Lord to remove the feelings. Let him inside of your soul. Let Jesus show you that you are valuable. Especially to him and his kingdom. You are more than enough. Only Belive!

Blessings_TJ_